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Thursday, August 28, 2025

Sales Blitz: Excerpt from the Barren Hill Series by Willow Sanders

 


Welcome to Barren Hill—where the rolling Hill Country hides more than just breathtaking views. In this small town full of big hearts, grumpy yet irresistible men find unexpected love with spunky heroines in stories brimming with warmth, healing, and second chances. From wounded warriors to everyday heroes, each contemporary romantic short by Willow Sanders delivers swoony moments, small-town charm, and emotional depth. These bite-sized reads are perfect for devouring in a single sitting.
 
Read Beard on Tap for $0.99https://books2read.com/beardontap
Read Codename Dustoff for $0.99http://books2read.com/codenamedustoff
Read Whiskey Business for $0.99https://books2read.com/whiskeybusiness
 
 

Beard on Tap
 
She fell into a ravine. He caught her—and never let go.
Set against the rugged charm of Baren Hill, this heartfelt romance delivers a swoony grumpy sunshine dynamic, a heroine rediscovering herself after divorce, and a cinnamon roll mountain man with a beard—and a bar—to fall for.
 
Read Beard on Tap Herehttps://books2read.com/beardontap
 
Excerpt
Copyright 2025, Willow Sanders
 
“Fuck. Hello? Ouch! Motherfucking dick waffle!”
Usually it was songbirds and toads that greeted me, not a foul-mouthed woman.
“Hello?” she called again. “Please tell me those are human footsteps crunching on the gravel. Though it would totally be my luck if I met my demise being some bear’s post-hibernation meal.”
“Do you always talk to yourself?” I called into the air.
“Oh, thank god. Hi! I honestly thought I was going to die down here.”
Down. As in the ravine. Hell’s fire, she was in the ravine.
“Do I need to call an ambulance?”
“No, I’m okay. I think I twisted my ankle though. I tried to stand on it a second ago and it was not having it.”
I shot a text off to Emmett to keep him on standby, then climbed down.
Her smile when I got to her exploded in relief.
“Yoga pants and flip flops?” I helped pull her to a stand. “Did you get dropped on your head? What makes you think that is acceptable attire for these trails?”
“Excuse me?” she shoved away, nearly losing her balance until I caught her. “Was I dropped on my head?”
“There are snakes out here,” I pointed at her toes. “You startle them, they’ll be revoking your birth certificate.”
She was already pretty pale, but at the mention of critters her face blanched to near white.
“You miss the mountain signs all over town? Ski in the winter, hike in the summer? What part of the word ‘mountain’ implies you can skip around here in those?”
“We gotta get some ice on that.”
“After you just insulted my intelligence, do you honestly think I would have any inclination to accept help from you?”
I extended my hand. She stood there like a damn flamingo. I lost the last shred of patience I had and scooped her up.
“What the hell are you doing?”
She kicked in my arms like a wet cat. My palm had strict directives from my brain to stay right the fuck where it was tucked beneath her knees. The yoga pants she wore had to have been painted on her body, because every curve brushed against me like she wore nothing at all.
“Are you insane? What kind of a person just picks someone up without their permission?”
She pitched her fit all the way to the top. Thankfully, The Old Lady was less than fifty meters from the ravine. She’d get over it real quick.
 


Codename Dustoff
  
She's a battle-scarred veteran, he's an amputee together they build something from the broken pieces. When insecurities surface, will the pair be able to heal and find the love they both so desperately seek? Can two people who have seemingly given up on themselves, find purpose once again?
 
Read Codename Dustoff Herehttp://books2read.com/codenamedustoff
 
Excerpt
Copyright 2025, Willow Sanders
With the exception of the seasons, not much changed in Barren Hill. The same people who lived there when I was a kid, still did. Most of them lived in the same houses, or on the same plot of land. We all shopped at the local Pack n’ Sack, got our cars serviced by Jared and his pop, Larry Flynn. Flynn was their last name. I don’t know why everyone called him Larry Flynn as if we were in Georgia and that was his first and middle name. That’s just how we did it up here, I guess.
If you weren’t a mining family, you were a rail family. That is, unless you lived in the Abilene portion of Barren Hill. That’s where the fancy gated community folk hailed from. The ones whose parents were suit and tie people who drove fancy cars to whatever job they had.
Abilene was the place you rode your secondhand bike past their gates on your way to school. They were the people you fantasized about being.Their Christmases surely were a parade of new suits and dresses, patent leather shoes and fur lined jackets, and oversized boxes wrapped up in gorgeous gold and silver wrapping paper containing video game systems or Cabbage Patch dolls.
My pop and I were rail folk. He was a foreman for the rail yard. As soon as I graduated high school, he lined me up to start my career path at the good old BNSF. Finn’s dad owned the town’s watering hole, so like the rest of us, he too was born into his role. College? No one talked to any of us about that.
When I lost my arm, I just had to deal. That’s what we did. We dealt with the hands we were given. We figured shit out. Adapted. Found ways to continue spinning on the hamster wheel.
 
Whiskey Business
Sometimes the best solution for rain clouds, is the sun demanding to be seen.
He wants silence, she wants his signature. Their battle of wills turns into a dance neither one saw coming. When traumas are uncovered, and feelings unearthed, will these opposites finally give in to their attraction?

Read Whiskey Business Herehttps://books2read.com/whiskeybusiness

Excerpt
Copyright 2025, Willow Sanders
“What on earth is all of that?”
We hadn’t even made it out of the city limits yet. I stopped to top off my gas after picking Remle up from the Inn. She’d said she wanted to grab a few things from the gas station—but a few things apparently were the entire snack aisle.
“I’m pretty sure the rules of a good road trip state regardless of time or distance, if you are driving with friends for an extended amount of time, you must grab all the things from the gas station like you’re a kid with a twenty-dollar bill and no supervision.”
She proudly displayed the chips, Twizzlers, water bottles, Red Bull, and Reese’s Pieces she purchased.
“Do you have any idea what food like this does to your insides?”
“Count on Doctor Raj to come swinging with the Debbie Downer health facts.”
Every molecule of my insides which had been feeling pretty relaxed hardened in the frozen tundra of flashbacks to my past life.
“Wow, in a matter of three days, you’ve done your due diligence on ferreting out all the details about me. Interesting sales tactic.”
I watched her face go from beaming with excitement to chastened in a millisecond. Shit. While I didn’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable, she had no right digging into my past. It was mine to tell her. Something I planned on touching on in the simplest terms when we arrived in Barren Hill.
“It wasn’t a sales tactic,” she replied, wrapping her arms around herself. “People in this town are super chatty. A few of them have mentioned you used to be a doctor, that’s all.”
“Which is neither up for discussion nor examination.”
I felt exposed. Seen in a way which made my skin crawl and sent panic exploding through my nervous system. The people of Sycamore Mountain knew nothing about how I’d come by their tiny town. Hundreds of thousands of dollars had scrubbed my past life from the search engines, guaranteeing no one would find out.
She didn’t respond. Instead, she turned toward the window and watched the landscape change. It worked just fine for me, too. The last thing I needed was to engage in a dialogue with someone I barely knew, recounting the worst days of my life.
 
About Willow Sanders

A marketer by day, and author by night, Willow Sanders is a best-selling author of sweet with heat Contemporary Romance and Romantic Suspense. She loves to write spunky, take no shit women, and understanding men with a strong side of sarcasm and an extra helping of BDE. When not writing you can find her torn between her loyalty to the Fighting Illini and her husband’s loyalty to Michigan State, bemoaning traffic, feeding her caffeine addiction, and trying to find the connection between her and the Gilmore Girls–because she is certain she is a long-lost family member.
 
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Tuesday, August 26, 2025

Review: All the Missing Pieces by Catherine Cowles

Author: Catherine Cowles
Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca
Publication Date:  January 2025

Ridley Sawyer knows what it’s like to miss someone, to feel like a piece of her vanished—because it happened to her the night her twin sister disappeared.

Now, Ridley channels that loss into hope, traveling the country covering cold cases for her true crime podcast. She might not have found justice for her sister but that doesn’t stop her from finding it for others.

Until Sheriff Colter Brooks gets in her way.

Colt knows what it’s like to have reporters descend on his town in the wake of a tragedy, and he’s not about to let a fiery podcaster stir up trouble. It doesn’t matter that her haunting blue eyes tell him there’s more to Ridley’s story or that he can’t stop imagining what it would be like to touch her.

But when Ridley’s cold case turns hot and she’s thrust into the crosshairs, Colt has no choice but to step in. Suddenly, Ridley’s living at his house, drinking his whiskey, and stealing his dog’s affections. But she’s also proving that she’s so much more than his first impression.

All the Missing Pieces is a stand alone romantic suspense involving Ridley, a podcaster who travels around in her van trying to solve cold cases for her podcast.  Years earlier, her twin sister was abducted and never seen again.  Now she is in Colt's town looking for a connection.  She is convinced his siter's attempted kidnapping, is connected to her sister's disappearance..

I really enjoyed this book.  I loved that I was surprised at the solution and resolution to the mystery.  This author definitely has a way of giving out just enough information to keep you guessing. I seem to get surprised every time I read one of her books.  I liked the chemistry between Colt and Ridley.  I loved how he became home and safety for her.  I also really enjoyed the relationship he had with his best friend and his sister.  Speaking of his sister and best friend, I hope there is another book.  I want to see what happens with that teased relationship.  I highly recommend this one.




Monday, August 25, 2025

2 in 1: Broken Harbor and Beautiful Exile by Catherine Cowles

Publisher: 
The PageSmith LLC
Publication Date: November 2024

Since the moment our lives fell apart, the only thing that mattered was making a good life for my son. A life where he was happy and safe. I just never expected to find that safety with a hockey player known for his brutal dominance on the ice and his recklessness off it.

But Cope Colson is so much more.

The gentle way he makes sure we’re okay. The playful care he shows my son. The way he truly sees me.

When my life comes apart yet again, it’s Cope picking up the pieces. Now, we’re living in his house, eating his incredible, chef-worthy meals, and it’s not just my son who’s falling.

It’s me.

Because when Cope touches me, I lose all sense. I’m no longer thinking about staying safe, I’m thinking about how my skin ignites with every glance, how I come undone with the barest brush of his fingertips, and when we give into temptation…I’m lost.

But Cope has secrets and so do I. And when the forces from our pasts emerge from the shadows, there’s nothing they won’t do to end our happiness once and for all…

Broken Harbor is the third book in the series and is Sutton and Cope's story.  While it's not my favorite, I still loved it.  I didn't really love Cope in the beginning.  Probably because he wasn't very prevalent in the first 2 books, so I didn't feel like I got to know him that much.  But, he quickly won me over.  I loved how he slowly won Sutton over.  And her son was adorable.  Once again, this author completely took me by surprise with the ending to the mystery.  I loved it.  Highly recommend this one.



Publisher:  
The PageSmith LLC
Publication Date: March 2025

I should’ve known Lincoln Pierce was trouble from the moment I held my knife to his throat.

I’ve been running for most of my life, hiding away in a small town and hoping no one discovers who I truly am. The only problem is that I can never let anyone know the real me. Or at least that was true until my brother moved his best friend onto our shared property.

Now, I’m stuck trying to avoid the nosy billionaire’s probing questions and piercing stares. And it doesn’t help that I almost killed him the first time we met.

Oops.

But when all my carefully crafted lies come crashing down around me, it’s Linc stepping in to shield me. And when it looks like the person hunting me for all those years is back, Linc will do anything to keep me safe.

Only it’s not just my safety at risk. It’s my heart. Because when Linc touches me, I lose all sense. And when I truly get to know the broken billionaire, he’s so much more than a ruthless business tycoon. He’s the man showing me that it’s time to really live.


But I’m not the only one with secrets. Linc has them, too. And when the forces from our pasts emerge from the shadows, it’s with only one goal: to end the new life we’re building together. For good.

Beautiful Exile is the fourth book and definitely one of my favorites of the series.  I have been intrigued by Arden since the first book.    Her back story was heartbreaking.  Linc was just the man to help her feel safe and be able to come out into the light.  I loved his relationship with his sister as well.  Once again, the mystery resolution as a huge surprise.  I'm not sure how the author keeps doing that, but I'm here for it.  The extended family members also did not disappoint. It always feels like visiting family when I read this series.  Highly recommend this one!


Sunday, August 24, 2025

Review: The Orphanage by the Lake by Daniel G. Miller

Author: Daniel G. Miller
Publisher: Houndstooth Books
Publication Date: February 2024
Hazel wants a new life.

She’s thirty years old, single, and her private investigation business is months away from folding.

Her luck takes a turn when Madeline Hemsley, a mysterious socialite, pays Hazel a visit with an offer too enticing to resist. An orphan girl has disappeared from a children’s home—The Orphanage By The Lake, as the locals call it—and Madeline wants Hazel to find her.

At first glance, it appears to be a standard runaway case, but as Hazel plunges into the investigation, she finds signs of something more: unexplained blood stains, cryptic symbols, sinister figures shadowing her every move. The more she digs, the more she realizes that The Orphanage By The Lake holds terrifying secrets, and even worse…

…so does Madeline.

In The Orphanage by the Lake, Hazel is a PI who is hired by Madeline to find her missing goddaughter.  She will get a sizable amount of money if she can find the girl within 6 days.  I'm having a hard time rating this book.  For the most part, I did enjoy it.  I liked Hazel's character. She is just a girl trying to go against what her family wants and make a life of her own. Her roommate was also very sweet.  There was one twist toward the end that I did not call.  So that was good.  

My biggest problem with the book was that  I had a hard time figuring out what this book was trying to be. It starts out like a cozy mystery and almost comical in spots.  But the last quarter got really dark and was not really cozy mystery material and not in any way funny.  Even Hazel's past was pretty dark.  So it was bit confusing and kind of dampened my enjoyment of the book.  I will probably seek out the next book in the series.  I just hope that it is more focused this time.



Wednesday, August 20, 2025

Spotlight: Excerpt from From Turmoil to Peace by Delia E. Hayward

 

A single mom with a troubled past finds hope and peace when she discovers God’s love.

 



Title: FROM TURMOIL TO PEACE

Author: Delia E. Hayward

Publisher: Emery Press Books 

Pages: 206

Genre: Christian Memoir 

Format: Paperback, Kindle

Delia Hayward, one of eight children, grew up during the Hippie Era in a dysfunctional family, for whom emotional and physical abuse was a normal occurrence of her childhood. Her marriage further deteriorated what little self-esteem she retained from her childhood.

Perhaps these torments are what made her desperately seek God and a personal relationship with Him.

When her marriage fell apart, she rose to the challenge of raising three sons alone. With the help of God and sheer determination, Delia managed to instill positive self-esteem and a love for God into the hearts of the next generation.

As you read this book, may you also find hope in the midst of your storm, and may God bring you from turmoil to peace.

Read sample here.

From Turmoil to Peace is available at Amazon and Barnes&Noble.

Book Excerpt

I continued attending Al-Anon meetings to improve my life. One day, my sponsor advised me to make a God Box; I needed to learn how to trust God. I was to put all the things I could not handle, could not afford, or could not change down on strips of paper. Then I was to put those strips of paper into the box and give them all to Him. Then I was to wait to see how many of those things were taken care of by Him.  

As I put each strip of paper into my God Box, I wept with relief. With every folded piece of paper, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was giving my worries to God and would trust Him to take care of them. A calm and peace came over me and I knew God was with me. I remembered many years ago when I had screamed at God in desperation, and He told me I didn’t trust him. Finally, I was learning how to trust Him.  

One day, I didn’t have enough money to buy food for the week, but I knew that God would take care of us. When I walked to the mailbox, there was a check for $70, just for switching telephone companies. That check paid for food for that week. Other times, I would find money in my pockets just when I was out of cash. God was taking care of me.

In Al-Anon, I learned more about God, life, reactions, and forgiveness. It was now time for me to forgive the man I hated; the man who had done so many terrible things to me and our boys. How was I supposed to forgive the man who tried to kill me? I was told that I had to pray for John every day, ask God to bless him, and give him everything he needed.  

I didn’t want to pray for John. I wished he was dead. I hated him. He continued to harass me by telephone. However, I prayed for John as I was told. This was supposed to help me get rid of the hate inside me. Soon after I began praying for him, I could feel my anger and hatred towards him fade away. They were replaced by compassion for the man who had lost a beautiful, loving family, and didn’t know God. The harassing phone calls suddenly stopped. God was awesome!

Father, thank you for your grace and mercy. Give me the strength and power to extend that same mercy and grace to those in my life who have hurt me.

– Excerpted from From Turmoil to Peace by Delia Hayward, Emery Press Books, 2025. Reprinted with permission. 

About the Author

Delia Hayward is a proud mother of three wonderful sons, a beautiful granddaughter and a precious grandson. God put it on her heart to write this book “From Turmoil to Peace” so that people could benefit from her life experiences. She has been blessed and hopes her book blesses others.

You can visit her website at https://deliahayward.name/ and follow her at Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/delia.hayward.14

 


Delia E. Hayward is giving away TWO $25 Amazon Gift Cards!

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  • This giveaway starts August 18 and ends on September 18.
  • Winner will be contacted via email on September 18.
  • Winner has 48 hours to reply.

Good luck everyone!

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Monday, August 18, 2025

2 in 1: Fragile Sanctuary and Delicate Escape by Catherine Cowles

Publisher: 
The PageSmith LLC
Publication date: May 2024

The scowl should’ve been my first clue to stay far away from Anson Hunt. The sexy smirk and the fact that he’s my brother’s best friend? Reasons two and three. Not to mention, he’s the new contractor working on my house.

He’s everything I’m not: grumpy, rude, and more than a little attached to his solitude. It doesn’t matter how many times I try to kill him with kindness; the man simply won’t crack.

Until he sees me shatter.

Because when my world comes crashing down around me, Anson is the one catching me as I fall. And as so-called accidents start plaguing every part of my life, it’s Anson who steps in to keep me safe.

As he does, I can’t help but feel a flicker of heat. And it only takes a single moment for that spark to ignite into flames, engulfing us both.

But Anson’s a man with secrets, and they have a price. When they’re revealed, neither of us will make it out unscathed…

Fragile Sanctuary is the first book in the Sparrow Falls series.  I ended up binging this entire series (so far) on vacation last week.  It's that good.  I am going to have a hard time picking a favorite, so be prepared for major gushing.  I loved this first book.  Anson and Rowan were just perfect match for each other.  Both of them had so much gut-wrenching tragedy in their background. Rowan found a soft place to fall and an amazing found family of the heart.  Anson didn't have that, but he slowly realizes that Rowan can help him find the healing he needs.  I loved that their romance was a slow burn.  I also loved watching Anson slowly begin to open up the hard shell around his heart.  Along with the romance, the family bond among the Colson clan was so fun and heartwarming.  The solution to the mystery really caught me off guard.  I love a good surprise ending.  Highly recommend.


Publisher: The PageSmith LLC
Publication Date: August 2024

Trust doesn’t come easily when you’ve been running for as long as I have, which is why moving in with a man I barely know is such a bad idea.

Shepard Colson is all golden-boy charm and devastating good looks. But I know what it’s like to be taken in by easy smiles and the promise of forever—I have the scars to prove it.

Only the handsome contractor won’t stop coming by the bakery and prying little truths from my lips. Those amber eyes of his seeing far too much. And when all the secrets come crashing down, he’s determined to keep me safe. Even if it means moving into my rundown cabin to do it.

Now, Shep isn’t just rebuilding the walls of my home, he’s working his way into my heart. Suddenly, he’s everywhere: shirtless in my garden or in a towel coming out of my bathroom. And my resolve is no match.

Only it’s more than his golden looks. It’s him. The way he watches for my wounds but tells me I’m stronger than anyone he’s ever known. And I can’t help but fall.

But I should’ve known better than to think I could be happy. Not when a ghost from my past still has me in his sights. And when he finds me, he’ll do anything to tear my life apart, even if it means ending it for good…

Delicate Escape is book number two and is Shep and Thea's story.  Again, I loved this love story.  It's always a winner when the guy falls first.  Again, both of them have trauma in their past and their relationship is exactly what the both of them need to heal.  I absolutely loved the care that Shep took with gaining Thea's trust. Her story was enraging and so sad.  Letting her be in control of how they interacted was exactly what she needed.  I also loved how she is quickly pulled into the fold of the Colson clan.  The twist in this one blind-sided me.  I did not see that coming at all.  This is a wonderful follow-up to the first book in the series and I highly recommend it. 


Sunday, August 17, 2025

Review: One House Left by Vincent Ralph

Author: Vincent Ralph
Publisher: Wednesday Books
Publication Date: August 2024

“Ready or not. Whatever you do. The Hiding Boy is coming for you.”

Sixteen-year-old Nate Campbell grew up in the shadow of Murder Road – a street cursed by the vengeful spirit of the Hiding Boy.

Every few years, for nearly six decades, a different house on that street has been the scene of a tragedy.

Nate and his family move to a new town as they try to outrun the curse once and for all. But, when he is pulled into his new friends’ urban legend club, new ghost stories merge with old until there is nowhere left to run. 

I have not been having luck with YA mystery lately.  One House Left was definitely a book that I should have loved.  Sadly, I didn't. I probably should have DNF'd it.  But I wanted to know what was going on.  In a nutshell the writing and pacing was very uneven.  The first half was so slow.  Then there is a big twist about halfway through and I will admit, I was very confused as to what was happening.  I mean I was caught off guard, so there is that I guess.  The issue was that I had no idea what the twist meant until toward the very end.  Once it all was explained, I thought it was a clever twist.  However, the ending ended up being predictable and cliche.  So, it ended up being so-so for me. Maybe you'll like it more.



Saturday, August 16, 2025

Spotlight: Excerpt from Fighter Pilot's Daughter by Mary Lawlor

 

The story of the author as a young woman coming of age in an Irish Catholic, military family…

 





Title: Fighter Pilot's Daughter

Author: Mary Lawlor

Publisher: Rowman and Littlefield

Pages: 323 

Genre: Memoir 

Format: Hardcover, Paperback, Kindle, Audiobook

Fighter Pilot’s Daughter: Growing Up in the Sixties and the Cold War tells the story of Mary Lawlor’s dramatic, roving life as a warrior’s child. A family biography and a young woman’s vision of the Cold War, Fighter Pilot’s Daughter narrates the more than many transfers the family made from Miami to California to Germany as the Cold War demanded. Each chapter describes the workings of this traveling household in a different place and time. The book’s climax takes us to Paris in May ’68, where Mary—until recently a dutiful military daughter—has joined the legendary student demonstrations against among other things, the Vietnam War. Meanwhile her father is flying missions out of Saigon for that very same war. Though they are on opposite sides of the political divide, a surprising reconciliation comes years later.

Fighter Pilot’s Daughter is available at Amazon.

Here’s what readers are saying about Fighter Pilot’s Daughter!


“Mary Lawlor's memoir, Fighter Pilot's Daughter: Growing Up in the Sixties and the Cold War, is terrifically written. The experience of living in a military family is beautifully brought to life. This memoir shows the pressures on families in the sixties, the fears of the Cold War, and also the love that families had that helped them get through those times, with many ups and downs. It's a story that all of us who are old enough can relate to, whether we were involved or not. The book is so well written. Mary Lawlor shares a story that needs to be written, and she tells it very well.” ―The Jordan Rich Show


“Mary Lawlor, in her brilliantly realized memoir, articulates what accountants would call a soft cost, the cost that dependents of career military personnel pay, which is the feeling of never belonging to the specific piece of real estate called home. . . . [T]he real story is Lawlor and her father, who is ensconced despite their ongoing conflict in Lawlor’s pantheon of Catholic saints and Irish presidents, a perfect metaphor for coming of age at a time when rebelling was all about rebelling against the paternalistic society of Cold War America.” ―Stars and Stripes

 
Book Excerpt 

The pilot’s house where I grew up was mostly a women’s world. There were five of us. We had the place to ourselves most of the time. My mother made the big decisions—where we went to school, which bank to keep our money in. She had to decide these things often because we moved every couple of years. The house is thus a figure of speech, a way of thinking about a long series of small, cement dwellings we occupied as one fictional home.

It was my father, however, who turned the wheel, his job that rotated us to so many different places. He was an aviator, first in the Marines, later in the Army. When he came home from his extended absences—missions, they were called—the rooms shrank around him. There wasn’t enough air. We didn’t breathe as freely as we did when he was gone, not because he was mean or demanding but because we worshipped him. Like satellites my sisters and I orbited him at a distance, waiting for the chance to come closer, to show him things we’d made, accept gifts, hear his stories. My mother wasn’t at the center of things anymore. She hovered, maneuvered, arranged, corrected. She was first lady, the dame in waiting. He was the center point of our circle, a flier, a winged sentry who spent most of his time far up over our heads. When he was home, the house was definitely his.

These were the early years of the Cold War. It was a time of vivid fears, pictured nowadays in photos of kids hunkered under their school desks. My sisters and I did that. The phrase “air raid drill” rang hard—the double-A sound a cold, metallic twang, ending with ill. It meant rehearsal for a time when you might get burnt by the air you breathed.

Every day we heard practice rounds of artillery fire and ordinance on the near horizon. We knew what all this training was for. It was to keep the world from ending. Our father was one of many dads who sweat at soldierly labor, part of an arsenal kept at the ready to scare off nuclear annihilation of life on earth. When we lived on post, my sisters and I saw uniformed men marching in straight lines everywhere. This was readiness, the soldiers rehearsing against Armageddon. The rectangular buildings where the commissary, the PX, the bowling alley, and beauty shop were housed had fallout shelters in the basements, marked with black and yellow wheels, the civil defense insignia. Our dad would often leave home for several days on maneuvers, readiness exercises in which he and other men played war games designed to match the visions of big generals and political men. Visions of how a Russian air and ground attack would happen. They had to be ready for it.

A clipped, nervous rhythm kept time on military bases. It was as if you needed to move efficiently to keep up with things, to be ready yourself, even if you were just a kid. We were chased by the feeling that life as we knew it could change in an hour.

This was the posture. On your mark, get set. But there was no go. It was a policy of meaningful waiting. Meaningful because it was the waiting itself that counted—where you did it, how many of the necessities you had, how long you could keep it up. Imagining long, sunless days with nothing to do but wait for an all-clear sign or for the threatening, consonant-heavy sounds of a foreign language overhead, I taught myself to pray hard.

– Excerpted from Fighter Pilot’s Daughter by Mary Lawlor, Rowman and Littlefield, 2013. Reprinted with permission.


About the Author
 

Mary Lawlor is author of Fighter Pilot’s Daughter (Rowman & Littlefield 2013, paper 2015), Public Native America (Rutgers Univ. Press 2006), and Recalling the Wild (Rutgers Univ. Press, 2000). Her short stories and essays have appeared in Big Bridge and Politics/Letters. She studied the American University in Paris and earned a Ph.D. from New York University. She divides her time between an old farmhouse in Easton, Pennsylvania, and a cabin in the mountains of southern Spain.

You can visit her website at https://www.marylawlor.net/ or connect with her on Twitter or Facebook.




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