Thursday, February 11, 2021

Blog Tour: Excerpt of Falling Home by Hallie Lord

Author: Hallie Lord
Publisher: Thomas Nelson 
Publication Date: February 2, 2021

Beloved speaker and radio host Hallie Lord shows how to use unexpected hardships and challenges to build a life that will make you more secure and grounded than ever before.

Hallie Lord understands the upheaval life can bring. From her parents’ divorce when she was a preteen to moving eleven times in fifteen years with her family, the radical changes she faced relentlessly pushed her toward fear and helplessness. Yet by digging into her faith and through much self-reflection, she realized that even though those challenges had left her a bit battered and bruised, they had also equipped her for any difficulty that may arise.

In Falling Home, she describes the four interconnected foundations that now give her strength and security during life’s upheavals:

  • committed, supportive friendships,
  • healthy family relationships,
  • an intimate love affair with God, and
  • a compassionate sense of self.
Inviting readers into her hard-fought journey, Lord shows them how they, too, can embrace whatever life brings their way. With lyrical prose and a tender, inviting voice, she shares how hurts and sacrifices are also the groundwork for creating a beautiful life that can catch them whenever they fall.

Here is a sneak peek:
I may not always know the specifics of what I want or how best to get from point A to point B, but, after forty years, I finally know who I am. Of course, even as I type those words, a small part of me is wondering, Will I laugh when I reread this in ten years and think, Girlfriend, you had absolutely no idea who you were back then? We’ll see. But I don’t think that will be the case. Certainly, we’re all living in a perpetual state of evolution and constantly learning new things about ourselves. But over the past year or two, I’ve gained peace and confidence in who I am and what God put me on this earth to do. They have settled into my bones. I am no longer so easily hurt by the opinions of others, and I’m far less impressionable than I once was. Now, when I ask myself why I did that thing or reacted that way or made that choice, I am almost always, after a little self-examination and consultation with God, able to answer.
Throughout my mid-to-late teens I was involved in a relationship that was not healthy. And by “not healthy” I mean so incredibly screwed up and absent of any authentic kind of love that it still makes me sad to think about that girl I used to be and the sort of treatment she accepted. And not only accepted but chased after and craved.
When all was said and done, and a few years had passed, my mother asked me, “Why did you stay in that relationship for so long? Why didn’t you demand better for yourself? Why did you tolerate such abusive treatment?”
I thought for a moment and answered simply, “Your guess is as good as mine.”
Do you know how long it took me to truly understand the reasons? Fifteen years. It took me fifteen years of wondering why before I finally figured it out. And that’s with my rounding it down to a nice pretty number.
I stayed because I craved a soft place to land, after having felt for many years like I was being tossed from one place to another without any control over my trajectory.
When I was in elementary school my parents divorced. One day we were all living under the same roof—my dad, my mom, my younger sister, and I—and the next day we were not. The change was extraordinarily difficult for me to process and make peace with. I suppose it doesn’t take a genius to know where my one thing came from. If I’m being honest, part of me is still searching for that peace. My parents’ divorce came with many logistical difficulties that were hard for me to navigate as a young child, such as remembering to pack everything when traveling between houses and figuring out who to go to with requests for field trip money. Although, to their credit, my parents did every- thing in their power to minimize these problems, they were still hard to manage. But, by far, the most painful aspect was carrying the burden of their pain. They never asked me to do so, of course. They never even hinted that I should. But I loved them so much that I couldn’t help it.
For months, maybe even years, after the divorce, I would wake up in the middle of the night overwhelmed with grief for whichever parent I was not with. I would imagine them all alone in their home, feeling the absence of loved ones. I would cry and cry until my mom or dad would call the other, and they would drive over in the middle of the night to try and reassure me. My parents would tell me over and over again that I could stay at whosever house I wanted and that neither of them would be hurt or offended by my decision. But that seemed impossible to me. I was sure someone was going to end up feeling rejected and unloved and deeply alone.
My desire to create a new unified and stable home was so desperate and all-encompassing that I gave myself over fully to any person who came along and told me I was special or offered to save me.
I wanted nothing more than to take all the wondrous pieces of my childhood my parents had brought to my life— camping under the stars with my dad and making fairy ornaments and delicious desserts at Christmastime with my mom, among a million other things—and toss them into the new home where my husband and children and I lived.
That was my desire, and that was my reason for staying in an abusive relationship for as long as I did. But for years I could not see it. I did not know myself well enough to understand this most obvious of truths about myself and my decisions.
It’s interesting to look at my daughters now and see where their strengths lie and where their wounds, insecurities, and insufficiencies will need God to pour his healing. My daughter Zelie, for example, has more self-confidence and self-assuredness than I will likely die with. She was born into the world, all eight plump pounds of her, knowing exactly who she is and the ways in which she plans to leave her mark. It’s a delight to see, especially because of how different she is from me. I was born into the world waiting for people to tell me what to believe and show me that I am worthy and valued. Not Zelie. She doesn’t need any of that. She needs other things, certainly. We all need something. But she doesn’t need confirmation of her inherent dignity and awesomeness. Every confident, happy, and, yes, sometimes cheeky step she takes gives praise to the One who breathed life into her and loved her into being. One of my favorite things about being a mother is learning from my children.

About the author:

Hallie Lord is the author of On the Other Side of Fear and Falling Home: Creating a Life That Catches You When You Fall, cohost of the Beatbox Gospel podcast, cofounder of Mixi Media, and the mom of eight kids. In her free time she can be found searching for her inner peace on or in the drive-thru lane of the Charleston, SC Starbucks near her home.
Connect with Hallie
Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Monday, February 8th: The Sketchy Reader
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1 comment:

Sara Strand said...

Thank you for featuring this! Sara @ TLC Book Tours