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Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Blog Tour: Review & Excerpt from Total Ship Show by Susan Renee

 


by Susan Renee
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My old college friends decided we need to take a group cruise, significant others included.
There’s just one small hiccup…I’m woefully single.
I ask a friend to come with me to pose as my boyfriend, but he backs out on me at the last minute. What’s a girl to do on a cruise as a single person?
Wait…what?
It’s a lover’s cruise?
Oooh ship!
No way am I spending the week with my friends as the only single in the group. I’ve got to find myself a hot, fake boyfriend, or better yet, a fake fiancĂ© for the week. It can’t be that hard. There have to be plenty of single men on the ship. One of them is bound to say yes. I’ll just board the ship as early as possible and hope I bump into someone worthy.
Okay, yeah. This could work. It’ll either be a genius move…
Or a total ship show.
Total Ship Show is a fake romance rom-com, part of the Love at Sea multi-author series. Get ready to set sail through the Caribbean on Festival Cruises’ most alluring voyage with eight of your favorite authors - happily ever after guaranteed!
Experience everything the Love at Sea series has to offer. From speed dating to masquerades, guests are sure to enjoy the hot days and steamy nights. Explore hidden waterfalls, swim with dolphins, and watch as eight couples find their forever on the open ocean.
 


My Thoughts:

Total Ship Show is the latest in the Love at Sea Series.  This one is a fake dating trope.  While not my favorite of the series, I thought it was cute.  I enjoyed watching this couple fall for each other.  I loved the ending and their HEA.  The only thing I didn't love was having to sit through the scavenger hunt again.  It was featured in a previous book in the series and I wasn't a fan.  I do recommend this one.




Excerpt
Copyright 2022 @Susan Renee
 
“Okay, I lied, alright? Yes. I’m a single girl on this lovey dovey cruise because my wingman of a friend back home fell in love with some girl and thought it uncouth to come away with me for a week. I mean, can you even imagine the nerve of him?” I scoff trying to play off the fact I’m a single loser on a love cruise.
Hottie McBlue-eyes shakes his head as if I’m telling the most unbelievable tale. “What kind of asshole is a wingman for his female friend and falls in love with another girl instead of the one right in front of him?”
Maybe it’s the Corona, but I immediately feel my cheeks blush. “Okay, first of all, I’m going to take that as a compliment, so thank you very much. And secondly, ew no. Joaquin and I have only ever been just friends. Honestly, I thought he was gay for years, but turns out he’s not.” I shrug. “I’m just sooo not his type which is totally fine. I’m happy he’s happy…even if that puts me here alone…and in need of a good lie to tell my friends.”
“Oh, so you’re not really here alone. You have your friends.”
“Well yes and no. My old sorority sisters planned this couples’ trip. So, they’re all bringing their significant others. I just uhh…I haven’t told them that my significant other bailed.”
“Meh, it won’t be so bad. Maybe you’ll find some hot guy aboard to pal around with. “
A snort escapes me. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll meet and fall in love with some hot doctor and live happily ever after, right? I mean stranger things have happened in this crazy world, right?”
Hottie McBlue-eyes chokes on his sip and coughs a few times. “Stranger things have definitely happened, I’m sure.”
I offer my hand to my airport friend. “I’m Adrienne, by the way. I don’t think I ever told you that, and while referring to me as Dildo Girl is pretty damn funny, I figured after holding my pink sparkly dick in your hands, you deserve to know my name.”
Laughing he takes his hand in mine. “Pleasure to meet you, Adrienne. That’s a beautiful name by the way. I’m Aris McElfry.”
“Nice to meet you Aris. I didn’t see you on the plane with anyone either. Are you telling me you’re also here alone?”
“Well, as a matter of fact—”
“Shit. It can’t be.”
What is he doing here?
“What?” Aris watches me, alarmed by my outburst.
I plaster a neutral smile on my face and murmur through my teeth.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.”
Are they seriously together?
My heart beats faster inside my chest and there’s a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“What? What’s wrong?”
I slowly turn toward Aris and give him the biggest puppy dog eyes I can muster while speaking as softly and quickly as I can. “Look, I know you don’t really know me, and I don’t know you, but you were kind enough to hold my sparkly dick in your hands and that has to say something for the kind of man that you are, right? So, if you would be willing to do me one more hella-huge favor I would be in your debt for like…my whole life…or this whole cruise…whichever comes first and right now my whole life could come first and anyway I promise to leave you alone after this and—”
“Anything.” He interrupts, holding my gaze. “Name it.”
I gulp down my fear and my pride and swiftly blurt out my request with a shaky voice. “I need a boyfriend. Like, right here. Right now. Because the man walking toward us in the yellow shirt is my ex and I had no idea he was going to be here, now I’m horrified I might have to spend this entire trip with him gloating that I’m here alone and he’s obviously not. And to add fuel to that already burning inferno, the girl with him is one of my friends and I had no idea the two of them were a thing and now if I have to tell him I’m alone, I may as well walk off this fucking ship right n—”
Before I can finish my sentence, Aris’s arm slides around my waist and he pulls me into his chest.
Hooooly God, he smells good.
“Stop talking,” he whispers against my mouth. “I get it.” The energy swiftly changes between us and oh, my God it’s hard to breathe. “I’m going to kiss you, alright? Like, really fucking kiss you so that douche sees that you belong to someone else now. Smile at me and tell me quick, is that okay?”
 
About Susan Renee
 
Susan Renee wants to live in a world where paint doesn't smell, Hogwarts is open twenty-four/seven, and everything is covered in glitter. An indie romance author, Susan has written about everything from tacos to tow-trucks, loves writing romantic comedies but also enjoys creating an emotional angsty story from time to time. She lives in Ohio with her husband, kids, two dogs and a cat. Susan holds a Bachelor and Masters Degree in Music Education and a self-awarded Doctorate in Sass and Sarcasm. She enjoys laughing at memes, speaking in GIFs and spending an entire day jumping down the TikTok rabbit hole. When she's not writing or playing the role of Mom, her favorite activity is doing the Care Bear stare with her closest friends.
  
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